I have reached the phase of PhD hell...

[sciatrix]

...where I wish to drive to a cliff, launch myself off of it, and hopefully hit and kill some rodents on the way down.

Everything is chapter two. Chapter two was due two days ago. Is chapter two being sent to my committee? Noooooo. Is it ever going to be Good Enough? NOOOOOO. Am I trying to write two manuscripts from basically raw, unanalyzed data in six weeks? Yesssss.

god help me, I promised I'd broadcast this defense so people could watch if they wanted* but I am despairingly certain it's going to be shit and everything is shit forever and I just want to lie here and die. Instead the Manuscript beckons.

Then I have two weeks to do it again with chapter three. *high-pitched giggling* while around me, the world burns.

_{*look, there's got to be some benefit of dealing with Zoom defenses, right?}

Comments

[havocthecat]

You'll be fine, you can do this, somehow I notice everyone I know who has gone through a PhD has these feelings. You too can do this. /cheerleads

[kore]

Ohhh boy that does sound familiar. Like Havoc says I think that happens to EVERYONE in grad school. It's like Thesis Officer Candidate School.

[princessofgeeks]

*pets you gently*

[illariy]

Oh yes, this post gives me flashbacks to the writing of my final thesis. Only M. Sc. equivalent and no oral defense so I imagine your situation must be much worse. I hope you get through it okay and that the chapters turn out way better than expected! Best wishes from Germany!

[jesse_the_k]

Sending you strength and really tasty drinks.

[brainwane]

Seconding this.

[eirias]

Part of the process is getting to this stage and thinking, shit, there is no way this will be done in time. I was still collecting data three weeks before my defense. And yet somehow life found a way.

Best of luck.

[to_do_list]

Wow, that timeline sounds super hard! Wonder if a kind of silver lining may be, there is really no time for perfectionism and it may become a lesson in trusting self to do good work anyway...

Sending you thoughts and best wishes.

[sebenikela]

(sorry I can't be more supportive on discord my own academia-brainshit is being A Thing)

but I am cheerleading from a safe distance! You got this! I will set your advisor on fire with my mind! <3