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 Wow, it's been a long time since I've remembered I meant to post in here. A lot of that is that I simply didn't have the energy to do it until recently; class and work and then a move and then a graduate school visit and then another move and then class and work again will do that to you. (I'm taking 17 hours again, which hopefully will not kill me in the same way that it did last year. Hopefully I'm not being enormously stupid again.) One of those is Human Sexuality, which I anticipate being either enormously interesting or horrifyingly exhausting or possibly both, particularly since an acquaintance I am not yet out to is taking it with me. And I have the dog with me, who is a Very Good Boy, but I don't have the Bestest Roommate In The World, so it gets a bit lonely in my apartment.

Ahahahaha. So much work. 
I think the main issue with this year is going to be avoiding biting off more than I can chew, since I just don't have the spoons to deal with all of it. Work is eating me up, and so is worrying about Oliver and my roommate situation, especially since I'm having to run about and put up flyers since my last roommate will be stuck paying rent until she finds the complex a new person to swallow up, and she's several states away at present. That and managing my blood sugar levels is pretty important. I can already feel myself beginning to forget to eat several times, especially since the way my schedule on campus is set up makes it fairly difficult for me to find a good time to eat lunch and usually by the time I'm heading home my blood sugar is way down. 

I did decide not to Honors-Option Human Sexuality on the theory that writing a paper about HSDD which was not an analysis of the issues inherent in HSDD but rather an uncritical analysis of the topic was going to trigger me into oblivion. (I still might write that former paper. It would make a good submission to the next Asexual Feminism zine, if I can find the time to get it done.) I'm seriously considering simply skipping HSDD day when it comes up for reasons of mental health at this point, and speaking with my professor about why it upsets me so much. For that to happen, though, I will need to be able to calmly discuss HSDD without shaking with a mixture of rage and anxiety. 
At least I'm doing some pretty cool work with the flies, even if all the sensory work I'm doing kind of makes me feel like Dr. Frankenstein. 
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I'm a mess right now. I admit it. God, I hate moving. And now there is a family Mediterranean cruise in the works, so I need to talk to Dr. W tomorrow to see if I can take my final early and go with my parents. (I hope I can, but secretly I don't believe it will happen. I usually don't.) And there's commuting tomorrow--I should be in bed right now--and I've been alternately dealing and freaking out over tiny things and flipping out.

I ended up getting frustrated about my dog obsession for the first time today. I need to get some friends who Get It, or at least stop feeling guilty for really boring people about it. Or something. And I blew up about my weight today, too. Normally I don't get upset about either one--I think it's just the underlying stress of Everything Else going on--but I wish it would stop.

I just realized I won't be in Athens for a single weekend this May, what with the Middle Sister's graduation and this theoretical cruise and this Week of Hell. I'll be lucky not to do badly in this course, which would really suck. 
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Today I am being a person entirely made out of flailing. And dampness.

It is raining outside and my feet are wet and people are wrong on the Internet and I spilled water all over my desk and and and...! That last one wouldn't be a problem except that my desk contains my pitcher and kettle and teapot and also, at last count, eight gajillion mugs. And also my printer. I cannot wait for the day when I get my own apartment and my electronics and tea materials do not need to share living space.

So. Totally skipping my lab meeting, because Dr. C doesn't think I can come anyway (he is wrong about my willingness to skip Physics, but he does not need to know that) and it's wet and miserable out anyhow. I'm meeting him on Tuesday anyway, where we can discuss my critical lack of ability to do anything in his lab since he is abandoning me for Indiana. (God, I wish I was making that up.) I need to find another faculty research mentor, preferably one who is staying right here. To the Genetics site!

And I had a brilliant plan to make friends with Dr. M because faculty recs are always good, even if they aren't actually in your department or science at all, but alas it involved actually going to office hours and like the crazy person he is he does not have them. So that's another cunning plan foiled. I should have known. At least I actually got to talk to my dad and give him my bestest compliment in the world, which seemed to make him very happy. I need to sit down and have a Conversation About Life with him, because although my dad is a crazy charismatic arrogant person who makes people love him for no reason he is the best person ever to have Conversations About Life with. Well, as long as you don't let him use his Game of Life metaphor, anyway.


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