(no subject)

Ahahaha. Yesterday I realized that, amazingly enough, taking an internship where I would be housed with three other students in a host family's home across the country and expected to work eighty-hour weeks selling textbooks would be a very bad idea for me. It's funny how easy it is to get swept up in these kinds of things--especially when I know that I get overstressed and miserable. I suspect I would become overwrought and miserable very quickly in that situation, and I think that a freaked-out cranky Sciatrix would have a hard time selling a product to families. I'm good at being service-oriented and enjoying work, but not when continually dealing with strangers.

I suppose I'm just worried about figuring out what I'm doing for the summer. L and C are going to Italy and I would have applied too, but it conflicted with my REUs. And now two have rejected me, and the third is taking forever and ever and I'm trying not to obsess about it but this is worse than college rejection letters. I want certainty, dammit. I want stability and steady work and I love my classes but the essentially shiftlessness of college life sucks massively.

It's April now and I still don't know what's going on. Next week this time it will have been two months since the last REU's due date. I suppose no news is good news, but it doesn't feel that way. I would almost rather be rejected and take a little time off in May, then come back and work in CollegeTown for the rest of the weekend. At least I could sublease a place and maybe bring the puppy up. Or get a cat. Yay anxiety cycles.