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 I have finally got to the surgery part of my experiment! Which means I spent about half an hour covering fruit fly eyes with metallic Sharpie this afternoon. It has gotten mostly easier than it was earlier, but not too much. I envy my friends working with plants and bacteria for not needing to learn microdissection. It's a giant pain, especially when your fine-motor control isn't great to begin with. 

On Tuesday I finally get to set up my crosses, at least for this first population. I'm still fretting about eventually  getting my stocks set up for my next two populations--I've got 360 crosses for this population alone to set up, I don't need the other ones any time soon, but it would be nice to get them going so I don't have to wait on them later--but aside from that things are progressing quite nicely. 

Also, I just discovered that with my thesis pending I don't have to do the extra three-hour lab for my Genetics degree. Which just made my senior year schedule a LOT less of a pain to set up, and incidentally means I can take a whole six hours less of class. (I haven't made up my mind whether I want to take Animal Behavior and possibly its lab just for funsies or not.) Which itself means I can treat myself nicely for once in the upcoming semesters and not engage in acts of self-sabotage like the one I'm doing now. If I can make it through seventeen hours of course credit again without collapsing in an anxiety-ridden overstressed depressed heap, I will damn well deserve a year of thirteen-hour course loads. 
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 Wow, it's been a long time since I've remembered I meant to post in here. A lot of that is that I simply didn't have the energy to do it until recently; class and work and then a move and then a graduate school visit and then another move and then class and work again will do that to you. (I'm taking 17 hours again, which hopefully will not kill me in the same way that it did last year. Hopefully I'm not being enormously stupid again.) One of those is Human Sexuality, which I anticipate being either enormously interesting or horrifyingly exhausting or possibly both, particularly since an acquaintance I am not yet out to is taking it with me. And I have the dog with me, who is a Very Good Boy, but I don't have the Bestest Roommate In The World, so it gets a bit lonely in my apartment.

Ahahahaha. So much work. 
I think the main issue with this year is going to be avoiding biting off more than I can chew, since I just don't have the spoons to deal with all of it. Work is eating me up, and so is worrying about Oliver and my roommate situation, especially since I'm having to run about and put up flyers since my last roommate will be stuck paying rent until she finds the complex a new person to swallow up, and she's several states away at present. That and managing my blood sugar levels is pretty important. I can already feel myself beginning to forget to eat several times, especially since the way my schedule on campus is set up makes it fairly difficult for me to find a good time to eat lunch and usually by the time I'm heading home my blood sugar is way down. 

I did decide not to Honors-Option Human Sexuality on the theory that writing a paper about HSDD which was not an analysis of the issues inherent in HSDD but rather an uncritical analysis of the topic was going to trigger me into oblivion. (I still might write that former paper. It would make a good submission to the next Asexual Feminism zine, if I can find the time to get it done.) I'm seriously considering simply skipping HSDD day when it comes up for reasons of mental health at this point, and speaking with my professor about why it upsets me so much. For that to happen, though, I will need to be able to calmly discuss HSDD without shaking with a mixture of rage and anxiety. 
At least I'm doing some pretty cool work with the flies, even if all the sensory work I'm doing kind of makes me feel like Dr. Frankenstein. 


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