I really relate to your feeling overwhelmed about engaging with people. I have been startled lately with how little I can deal with that when I'm tired too, and of course sometimes I'm forced to engage with people even though I'm out out of spoons for it, and at first I manage to do it more or less how I do when I'm not too tired, but the more and more tired I get, the more my ability to put on a public face and emote at them and stuff just... erodes...
I ended up scraping the bottom of the barrel there last week, in a state where I could only manage to turn on Face for the actual verbal interaction bits and it would just turn itself off like a phone running out of battery in between, and meanwhile I completely lost most of my ability to regulate my own emotions and spent five days on an emotional rollercoaster, distracted by everything, and wishing desperately for the sweet release of dissociation because it seemed like the only way to take a breath.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2019-07-05 10:41 am (UTC)I ended up scraping the bottom of the barrel there last week, in a state where I could only manage to turn on Face for the actual verbal interaction bits and it would just turn itself off like a phone running out of battery in between, and meanwhile I completely lost most of my ability to regulate my own emotions and spent five days on an emotional rollercoaster, distracted by everything, and wishing desperately for the sweet release of dissociation because it seemed like the only way to take a breath.