Oh, I keep meaning to come back to this, getting distracted, and failing!
One thing that sticks out for me as I go "but I don't want!" for purely idiosyncratic reasons is that... well...
I have exclusively really shitty experiences with penetration, is the thing. (You'd think that it would take less than seven years of dutifully going in for pelvic exams and reliably recoiling in pain to identify an imperforate hymen as a problem, but apparently not.) So I actually hadn't even conceptualized that lack of verbiage and description as a problem right up until last week, when I sat down and worked out all the scenes I've written... and there's exactly one with PIV in it (and none at all with anal), the point of view is from the gentleman doing the penetrating, and he's also pretty uncomfortable most of the time.
I had not actually noticed that before this discussion, so that was a new and exciting food for thought. But yeah--that is one reason that the ability to have nonpenetrative sex in my f/f is apparently rather important to me, at least defining "nonpenetrative" as "no one is inserting anything dicklike into anyone else"--hands are fine, fisting is fine, tongues are fine, but PIV and things resembling it aren't the end all be all, and I think that's weirdly important to my hindbrain to emphasize given how often "sex with vulva" winds up going to "stick a dick in it" in broader sexual culture.
But that isn't to say that your theory is remotely wrong! It reminds me of the discussion we were having over at staranise's about penetration and vocabulary. And even those actively-being-penetrated verbs are, well, verbs and not sensations precisely.
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timeasmymeasure
Re: F'in the Inf'able
Date: 2018-12-18 03:55 am (UTC)One thing that sticks out for me as I go "but I don't want!" for purely idiosyncratic reasons is that... well...
I have exclusively really shitty experiences with penetration, is the thing. (You'd think that it would take less than seven years of dutifully going in for pelvic exams and reliably recoiling in pain to identify an imperforate hymen as a problem, but apparently not.) So I actually hadn't even conceptualized that lack of verbiage and description as a problem right up until last week, when I sat down and worked out all the scenes I've written... and there's exactly one with PIV in it (and none at all with anal), the point of view is from the gentleman doing the penetrating, and he's also pretty uncomfortable most of the time.
I had not actually noticed that before this discussion, so that was a new and exciting food for thought. But yeah--that is one reason that the ability to have nonpenetrative sex in my f/f is apparently rather important to me, at least defining "nonpenetrative" as "no one is inserting anything dicklike into anyone else"--hands are fine, fisting is fine, tongues are fine, but PIV and things resembling it aren't the end all be all, and I think that's weirdly important to my hindbrain to emphasize given how often "sex with vulva" winds up going to "stick a dick in it" in broader sexual culture.
But that isn't to say that your theory is remotely wrong! It reminds me of the discussion we were having over at