(no subject)

 I just got out of a really interesting conversation about queerness and community and access to easy entry points of community, and one of the things one of the participants in that conversation said struck me. They said that when they're lonely and looking to make specifically queer friends, they feel like the only way they have to do that is to use Tindr to find people to potentially date, and then maybe see if friendship comes out of that. Or maybe otherwise to go out and be attractive and potentially available, and maybe make friends that way. 

I'm sort of personally horrified by the notion, in part because it's so inaccessible to me and in part because that's some heavy pressure to be available and attractive in exchange for affection and intimacy. And I'm newly really grateful for the people in my life and the set of circumstances that has let them be here for me, both personally and in the aggregate. 

This isn't intended to be a judgement on anyone who feels that way or anyone who that idea would work for or anything. It's just a system that would not work for me, and one I'm glad not to currently find myself in.