Yondu wakes up

Yondu sits up and groans. Last he remembered, Quill and Kraglin and the rest of ‘em had got the vigil done, he remembers that much; and they’d ejected him into the incinerator like was all good and proper, burning his body so it can’t go walking in the night, and then what happened…

…horror seeps into his bones as he remembers. He’d. He’d heard the Horns. Someone had done something, something they oughtn’t, and they musta told Stakar and–

Yondu clutches his head in panic and tries to breathe through his mouth.

He’d brought the whole damn fleet to flash the colors–

Fuck, fuck, fuck. He’d always sort of hoped that death was just endless oblivion, a sleep from which you never woke. Sounded restful.

It’s much worse than he’d imagined, finding out he was wrong. Fuck. He has a vague memory of hearing the Horns, of turning in dreamlike elation to follow, and–

That’s it. There’s no memory there. Which means that all he has to dwell on left is the memory of Stakar’s uncharacteristic and wholly undeserved forgiveness. Yondu clutches at his head, curling into a ball with shame and horror. This? This is when he relents and listens to me?

Over my dead body?