sciatrix

I mean like, don't ask me for dating advice; I barely understand the concept! I don't do--all the beginning bits of relationships, really, is the best way to talk about it; I have fallen into every committed relationship I've been in more or less by accident, by surrounding myself with people I liked who shared similar kinds of desires to me, and just... following my life where it went, I guess. Which is much harder when you're queer--my communities of fellow aces had mostly been online before I moved to Austin and built myself an offline one, and that sort of thing leads to transcontinental immigration issues. It's just hard in different ways, and when you're being deliberately run out of the most visible spaces to build those kinds of networks and relationships with other people who might be into a person like you, the whole thing gets so much more infected with fear and complication.

TBH the idea of being single and trying to deliberately go about changing that by looking for a Romantic Relationship (as opposed to people to spend time with/engage in mutually pleasurable activities/build up closer relationships with as opportunities and mutual desire for that appear) breaks my brain more than a bit. I get the feeling of wanting to be someone's primary person--oh boy do I ever--but the idea of selecting auditions for someone to do that without vetting them through friendships first confuses me on a pretty gut level. (I respect it! I just, not for me, no, no.)