I'm not arguing at all that the binaristic model of these things is super great for nonbinary people. It's not. But that criticism can be applied to all models of orientation, and those asexual-community models have been attempting to complicate them in order to include nonbinary people since at least 2008, with mixed successes.
Like I said, there's some good evidence that we picked them up and borrowed them at the same time as early bi communities. I noticed that a common nomenclature when I was first knocking around in asexual communities c. 2005, 2006ish was 'affectional orientation', which seems to have originated in bisexual communities predating online ace communities by about ten years. As far as we can tell, early ace groups seem to have independently observed the same concept and quickly became aware of the bisexual community version at the same time. In fact, back in 2011 you can see me rolling my eyes at a sexuality professor who brought up the same kind of mixed-attraction person as a way to blow the class' minds about the way that orientation works--and she would absolutely have been coming from broader queer culture, not ace culture.
Trust me, I'm very, very familiar with the past twenty years of discussion both inside asexual spaces and outside them. I've been a part of those communities for nearly fifteen years now. In the broader scheme of things, I agree with you that they are young, and the theory-orientation is something of a cultural hallmark: it's something I view with affection and annoyance by terms, but it's not necessarily bad. I'm dealing with my own personal grar hackles about this particular thing because you are (probably unintentionally) hitting a number of my deeply sore spots about my community.
This is not an "ace discourse"-friendly blog. I do not know how you are intending to use that term, but in my experience it usually refers to a targeted campaign of gaslighting, lying, and harassment aimed at asexual-spectrum people and whether or not folks with this identity are "real" or toxically harmful to "real" queer people. I have enough trauma related to Tumblr-style "ace discourse" as it is--they nearly drove me out of queer spaces entirely c. 2011-2014 and repairing that is still something I am working on even today--that I am not going to put up with it here.
(Also: I promise you I've been "around the block" at least once on relationships and I'm not speaking from theory with respect to my own personal life. My experiences are different to yours, but I will politely thank you not to enter my space and condescend to me about them.)
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2019-01-11 02:10 am (UTC)Like I said, there's some good evidence that we picked them up and borrowed them at the same time as early bi communities. I noticed that a common nomenclature when I was first knocking around in asexual communities c. 2005, 2006ish was 'affectional orientation', which seems to have originated in bisexual communities predating online ace communities by about ten years. As far as we can tell, early ace groups seem to have independently observed the same concept and quickly became aware of the bisexual community version at the same time. In fact, back in 2011 you can see me rolling my eyes at a sexuality professor who brought up the same kind of mixed-attraction person as a way to blow the class' minds about the way that orientation works--and she would absolutely have been coming from broader queer culture, not ace culture.
Trust me, I'm very, very familiar with the past twenty years of discussion both inside asexual spaces and outside them. I've been a part of those communities for nearly fifteen years now. In the broader scheme of things, I agree with you that they are young, and the theory-orientation is something of a cultural hallmark: it's something I view with affection and annoyance by terms, but it's not necessarily bad. I'm dealing with my own personal grar hackles about this particular thing because you are (probably unintentionally) hitting a number of my deeply sore spots about my community.
This is not an "ace discourse"-friendly blog. I do not know how you are intending to use that term, but in my experience it usually refers to a targeted campaign of gaslighting, lying, and harassment aimed at asexual-spectrum people and whether or not folks with this identity are "real" or toxically harmful to "real" queer people. I have enough trauma related to Tumblr-style "ace discourse" as it is--they nearly drove me out of queer spaces entirely c. 2011-2014 and repairing that is still something I am working on even today--that I am not going to put up with it here.
(Also: I promise you I've been "around the block" at least once on relationships and I'm not speaking from theory with respect to my own personal life. My experiences are different to yours, but I will politely thank you not to enter my space and condescend to me about them.)