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Today I am being a person entirely made out of flailing. And dampness.

It is raining outside and my feet are wet and people are wrong on the Internet and I spilled water all over my desk and and and...! That last one wouldn't be a problem except that my desk contains my pitcher and kettle and teapot and also, at last count, eight gajillion mugs. And also my printer. I cannot wait for the day when I get my own apartment and my electronics and tea materials do not need to share living space.

So. Totally skipping my lab meeting, because Dr. C doesn't think I can come anyway (he is wrong about my willingness to skip Physics, but he does not need to know that) and it's wet and miserable out anyhow. I'm meeting him on Tuesday anyway, where we can discuss my critical lack of ability to do anything in his lab since he is abandoning me for Indiana. (God, I wish I was making that up.) I need to find another faculty research mentor, preferably one who is staying right here. To the Genetics site!

And I had a brilliant plan to make friends with Dr. M because faculty recs are always good, even if they aren't actually in your department or science at all, but alas it involved actually going to office hours and like the crazy person he is he does not have them. So that's another cunning plan foiled. I should have known. At least I actually got to talk to my dad and give him my bestest compliment in the world, which seemed to make him very happy. I need to sit down and have a Conversation About Life with him, because although my dad is a crazy charismatic arrogant person who makes people love him for no reason he is the best person ever to have Conversations About Life with. Well, as long as you don't let him use his Game of Life metaphor, anyway.

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I have realized something fairly big about myself. All these last two years I've been silently beating myself up about the whole "gained twenty pounds in college" thing, and how I now weigh twenty pounds more than my mother and sister. And getting comments from my mother about how she "wants me to be healthy," because my current weight can't be healthy on its own. (It's 140 pounds, I think. Come on.)

Except... I had freaking terrible eating habits in high school. I wouldn't get very hungry, I wouldn't cook any half-way decent meals, I never ate breakfast and half the time I didn't eat dinner either. And my lunch was a joke--I'd sit down with two to four chocolate chip Rice Krispie treats by the vending machines, methodically eat all of them while reading, and then flee to the library for the rest of my lunch period. And some days that was all I ate, that and chocolate milk, because I wasn't getting any social eating and I didn't have time to make a decent meal for myself for lunch and I was too tired/uninterested to make a decent dinner for myself, either. And that was about the time we stopped eating dinner all the time as a family, too. Don't get me wrong, I ate other things--my tendency is and has always been to pick one thing and eat large quantities of it, and I do like vegetables quite a lot--but it still wasn't terribly healthy.

Now, well, I don't eat all that well, but I do my best within the confines of the dining halls, and I'll be doing better in the fall. But now I have a social group to eat with, and I actually eat breakfast, and I always make sure to eat greens. I'm even actually exercising a bit more, since I walk to most of my classes. Overall, I think I'm actually doing pretty damn well.