sciatrix: (Default)
[personal profile] sciatrix
There's a new census going up as an Asexual Awareness project! Granted, the questions are mostly basic demographics, but it'll still be pretty cool to look at when the results are in.

And hey, they're learning--you do not need an AVEN account to fill this one out and it's actually being promoted in non-AVEN spaces! Mind, they've missed two asexual communities I can think of--neither [community profile] asexual_fandom or the Transyada forum are mentioned--but this actually looks like AVEN-based asexual organizers taking baby steps to acknowledge other communities.

Date: 2011-09-14 02:47 am (UTC)
aceeccentric: Angel wing with quote "just enough of a bastard to be worth liking" (Default)
From: [personal profile] aceeccentric
I listed [community profile] asexual_fandom in my "where do you hang out" section (which I thought was a nice comment box to include). I was surprised there were no Dreamwidth options listed, especially since I was under the impression the fandom one was pretty well-known. I also basically just copied my blog roll, since it said to mention blogs.

And now that you point it out I'm surprised about the Transyada forum too, since that did start on AVEN. I was just skimming through there last night (not a member).

Date: 2011-09-14 05:05 am (UTC)
theletterfour: Text only: For I am BATMA... I mean... the Dark Lord (Default)
From: [personal profile] theletterfour
*facepalm* I listed group_x under where I hang out (as a specifier of the dreamwidth asexy places I hang out) but forgot to list asexual_fandom. Mostly because I didn't have the energy to go through my subscription list and list every ace I follow on dreamwidth.

I knew there was a major ace community on dreamwidth that I was forgetting.

I think this is a sign that I need to go to sleep.

Date: 2011-09-14 02:43 pm (UTC)
theletterfour: Text only: For I am BATMA... I mean... the Dark Lord (Default)
From: [personal profile] theletterfour

I checked and unchecked so many different combinations of options for that question that I don't even know *what* I ended up putting. (I was at one point sorely tempted to put in the "other" box, "My orientation doesn't fit your puny checkboxes!" but I thought that was a bit too bitter of a response, given they appeared to be trying to acknowledge more diversity of romantic orientations than is usually acknowledged.

Date: 2011-09-14 11:34 am (UTC)
kaz: "Kaz" written in cursive with a white quill that is dissolving into (badly drawn in Photoshop) butterflies. (Default)
From: [personal profile] kaz
I thought the "there is no difference between romantic and non-romantic attraction" option for the romantic orientation question was pretty interesting - I pondered whether it was their attempt at wtfromantic but in the end went for "other" because to me the whole point is that the entire question just doesn't lead anywhere good. Maybe there is no difference, maybe there /is/ one, the problem is that I can't figure it out and trying to just distracts from the real issues for me.

And yeah, confused at the lack of DW comms or transyadas, since those are pretty big and active. Huh. :/ Although I guess there might be relatively little AVEN/asexual_fandom overlap but as you point out the yadas originate on AVEN!

(I love what I'll do to their stats: nonbinary wtfromantic asexual who isn't sure if ze's trans or not!)

Date: 2011-09-14 11:52 am (UTC)
kaz: "Kaz" written in cursive with a white quill that is dissolving into (badly drawn in Photoshop) butterflies. (Default)
From: [personal profile] kaz
Greyromantic, noooootttt so much--I need to sit down at some point and write a post about how I actually really hate being identified as greyromantic specifically, because for me the point isn't that I experience romantic attraction rarely or only in very specific circumstances but that whatever I do experience doesn't feel romantic at all even if it shares certain characteristics with traditionally defined romantic relationships.

This is /interesting/, because I still find greyromantic the identity I'm most comfortable with (ETA: out of the aromantic/orientationgoeshereromantic/greyromantic group) but if I defined it that way I wouldn't be and it upsets me to realise some people are defining it that way. My personal definition is along the lines of "if you don't quite id as aromantic but not quite as romantic", so that would count both what you mentioned but also involve things like - you experience attraction that's in between romantic and nonromantic, you want relationships that are not quite romantic but not quite platonic, that kind of thing. My personal definition of grey-a is similar but now that you mention it I've seen the "experience sexual attraction rarely or only in certain situations" going around and may have accidentally used it myself - the ways in which it's not sufficient are only really obvious once it excludes you. ><

(I kind of wanted to go for "not trans but not cis", which is sort of how I identify right now - I feel if I id as trans it's sort of appropriating but at the same time I don't want to get lumped in with the cis folk. >>)
Edited Date: 2011-09-14 12:03 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-09-14 12:20 pm (UTC)
kaz: "Kaz" written in cursive with a white quill that is dissolving into (badly drawn in Photoshop) butterflies. (Default)
From: [personal profile] kaz
t's just that I also tend to be the sort going "well if you don't experience sexual attraction you're asexual, I don't care whether you're repulsed and nonlibidoist or whether you actually quite enjoy sex and have a ton of it for fun" and it's the latter sort I see sometimes going "well I don't feel quite asexual so I will ID as grey even though I don't experience sexual attraction."

This makes sense, but if I reverse-engineer that to "if you don't experience romantic attraction you're aromantic" it's clear to me how it's more complicated than that - that people can probably experience *something* that's borderline or where they're not sure whether it's sexual attraction or not, you know?

I agree with you about the people who say "I don't feel quite asexual", but then again it's their identity and... mm... I'd be more keen on showing them that there's room for all sorts of identities under "asexual". Like, if they're not identifying as asexual because they think you don't count if you do X or that asexual people who don't do X will kick them out, that sucks and we ought to do our best to show them it's not true. However, if they're not identifying as asexual because they just don't think they have that much in common with asexual experiences and know they *could* id that way if they felt it right... then it's their business, you know? I also think that for some people this is an intermittent thing and they later id as totally asexual-

man, the annoying thing about using "ace" as an umbrella term is that now "asexual" sounds so clinical but we don't have an alternative when we're talking about only-asexual not-grey-a. >>

(lol, and I've been once /again/ going "but am I really really nonbinary?" gah, the neverending questioning of self, and it sucks because so much of it is bullshit "you're not oppressed enough" that I /know/ is bullshit but that I can't quite get rid of.)

Date: 2011-09-14 10:34 pm (UTC)
shiyiya: Shiyiya, a very pale white girl with brown hair and eyes. (Default)
From: [personal profile] shiyiya
I got to the romantic orientation question and discovered that I am IMMENSELY CONFUSED as to what the hell mine is. This is possibly at least partially because I am really confused by what demiromantic actually is. Extrapolating from demisexual it would be you can only fall in love with people you're already friends with but then I'm confused as to how you could love somebody you didn't already know, but there's all those tropes about love at first site and shit, so I dunno maybe some people do, so that would make me demiromantic as well and demisexual, and oh god I don't even know this is why I was using queer as my orientation label because I have no idea how to quantify. And most people seem to get like, crushes on people they don't know, is THAT romantic attraction, I don't get crushes, does THAT mean I'm demiromantic then, AUGH. And I have no idea what if any gender whatever there is on that. We've been in six relationships, two current both with nonbinary people, four previous all male, but I didn't actually exist for half of those and even when it was my name it wasn't really the same as me now, and my brain is the most confusing place to live, and and and *flails incoherently*


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