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[personal profile] sciatrix
So this popped up on Tumblr today. And I read it and got very excited--not even entirely because the idea of Tim Drake being asexual is awesome, but because it had a creator discussing an asexual character and acknowledging that asexuality is a sexual orientation that real people have, and oh my gosh I never get to see that.

And then I noticed that the source was broken. And that when I Googled around I could find no other mention of it. And then I stopped to consider what the actual likelihood of DC Comics doing something like this was and... yeah. Unlikely.

I just. I don't even. Why would you lie about this?! What possible reason would someone have to create this hoax? Why would you do this?

I'm angry and upset and frustrated, because it feels like someone dangled a delicious sandwich in my face while I'm starving and then snatched it away. And now, on top of everything, I'm feeling especially sensitized to the way creators frame asexual characters in media. Because you know that creators never bother to mention that asexuality's a sexual orientation, or that actual asexual people might want to see themselves now and again. That alone ought to have tipped me off, and I am so angry and sad that I feel that way.
willow: Raspberry on black background. Text: Original Unfiltered Willow (Willow:Unfiltered)
From: [personal profile] willow
I got horridly confused when I first started reading your entry, clicked the post and started reading and saw the word condition. I couldn't understand why you'd be so happy when asexuality was being called a condition, repeatedly, in the same tone as one would use for affliction.

So I stared and stared at the post and couldn't stop wincing, left, came back to it, and eventually finished reading your entry and saw that it was in fact, exactly what it looked like; people mocking a subset of fans who find Tim and Kon to be really close and deciding to 'show them' by making Tim asexual, as if it's the equivalent of making Tim somehow dead. Ugh.

Re:

Date: 2011-09-01 04:05 am (UTC)
willow: Raspberry on black background. Text: Original Unfiltered Willow (Willow:Unfiltered)
From: [personal profile] willow
I've become fairly jaded and bitter over the years when it comes to representation. And for one particular aspect of my identity, I prefer erasure because of how wrong and flamboyant and wrong they get it; it's not a plot point in a story, it's every day life. My everyday life. Several other people's everyday life.

But I had a therapy appointment on Tuesday where all I did was go 'There's a name for me!' Along with the realisation I'd been searching for one for YEARS and just feeling broken. So for the first time, I'm feeling the 'please sweet heavens, there's a word for that' and thinking a little differently, despite my bitterness, of having a reality broached in wider mediums.

It's one of the reasons I don't feel up to some broader discussions I've found. When people start debating the 'nature of oppression' or if oppression is worse than erasure, I think I might go off.

I'm sharply reminded of the circumstances, for some, in their later or even silver years, due to fear or hesitation or confusion or lack of freedom coming out as gay or queer. I find myself wondering at the age group in the discussions I've found. If there are people with an inkling of isolated communities, maybe some idea that there might be 'people like that' in 'big cities' somewhere. Maybe. And that's counting there were movies to hint at that. And with the knowledge such movies always implied such a 'lifestyle' was tragic and unhappy and horrible, but yeah, it/those people existed.

If they realize that there are people, older people, who in this day and age are still going "There's a word for that?!" Or 'That's what that word means? It's not something else?" Because who wants to identify with suicidal perverted depression wasted lives?

I keep wondering why they can't see the similarities or extrapolate to what it might be like to end up well past adolescence, even well past one's twenties when it seems most everyone else had their starting point and you with no clue you're not effed in the head.

Thinking of it that way, I think I can see why you got so excited at the thought of the word even being floated in a wider medium and possibly explored. So someone out there might go 'Wait, what? That's an option?!'

If definitions hadn't been floating around these last two to three years, I'd still be feeling like I was in a holding pattern to 'fix' myself. I realize my preferring erasure on that other part of me seems selfish given that, but it also falls under a possible 'to be fixed' label and the more outrageous representations could scare the stuffing out of someone managing a more or less regular life. There's no lesser evil there. But there might have been here, as you saw it.

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